Shedding the Weight of Shame

Lately, in so many of my sessions—whether it’s Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy, Access Bars, or just holding space for conversation—one word keeps surfacing: shame.

It shows up quietly, often masked as guilt, self-judgment, or the feeling that we are somehow “not enough.” Sometimes it hides beneath the surface of our physical pain, emotional overwhelm, or deep fatigue. Other times, it’s loud—telling us we’re broken, unworthy, or wrong for simply being ourselves.

So, let’s talk about it. What is shame?

What is Shame?

Shame is that heavy feeling that tells us we are bad, rather than we did something bad. It’s the voice that whispers:

• “You’re too much.”

• “You’re not enough.”

• “You’ll never be good at this.”

• “Who do you think you are?”

Unlike guilt—which is about our actions—shame attaches to our identity. It’s sticky, persistent, and deeply rooted in experiences where we felt unseen, unworthy, or rejected.

Who Does Shame Affect?

Everyone.
Yes, everyone.

Shame doesn’t discriminate. It shows up in childhood wounds, school memories, workplaces, friendships, romantic relationships, and even the healing journey itself. It can be inherited, taught, modeled, or absorbed through the subtle messages of society.

It especially affects those of us who are sensitive, intuitive, or have walked through trauma. If you’ve ever been told to be quieter, smaller, tougher, or more “realistic,” you may have internalized those messages as shame.

Where Do We Feel It in the Body?

Shame doesn’t just live in the mind—it lives in the body. That’s why many people feel:

• A heaviness in the chest

• A knot or nausea in the stomach

• Tightness in the throat

• Heat in the face or ears

• A desire to physically shrink or hide

It can sit in the solar plexus like a lead ball. It can make us clench our jaw or curl our shoulders inward. Our bodies hold onto shame like it’s trying to protect us from repeating the pain—when really, it’s just keeping us stuck.

How Do We Let It Go?

Letting go of shame is not about pushing it away or pretending it’s not there. It’s about meeting it with compassion.

Here are a few ways I support clients—and myself—in releasing shame:

1. Naming It
   Just saying “this is shame” brings light to the darkness. Naming it separates you from the emotion and allows you to observe rather than identify with it.

2. Somatic Release
   Through Craniosacral Therapy, Access Bars, or Reiki, we work with the nervous system and energy field to gently release stuck emotional patterns. You don’t need to re-live the story to clear the energy.

3. Inner Child Healing
   Many shame patterns began when we were young. Meeting those younger parts with love and curiosity—rather than judgment—can be incredibly healing.

4. Speak It or Write It
   Shame grows in silence. Whether it's in a journal, in conversation, or through sound (yes, even moaning or crying), giving shame a voice releases its grip.

5. Ask: “Whose is this?”
   Sometimes the shame we carry isn’t even ours. It could belong to a parent, teacher, or culture. When we recognize that, we can return it with love.

6. Choose Gentleness
   Healing shame isn’t about being harder on yourself—it’s about softening. Every time you choose compassion over criticism, you rewrite the story.

Shame can feel like a shadow, but it doesn’t have to define your path. You are allowed to be human. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to be whole and worthy right now, not someday in the future.

If this resonates with you and you feel called to release what no longer serves, I invite you to book a session with me. You are not alone in this.